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girgishannaharoun@yahoo.co.uk

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But as for me, I watch in

hope for the Lord, I

wait for God my Savior;

my God will hear

me.Micah 7:7

Notice from the SVG FSA : Forex IBCs – Wilfred International Services

Humor

School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Use the other language selector on my home page above to go through my whole site using any native language you speak,

اختاراي لغة من لغات العالم / اللغة التى تريد تصفح موقعى باستخدامها . استخدم المؤشر

الذى فى الاعلى

Next, Use the world site selector on my home page above to go to the search engine site or the social media site you like.

My YouTube Channel: Click: :( Mr. / Girgis H. H).

منهج الانجليزى ثانوية عامة / معكم الاستاذ / جرجس حنا هارون /Unit 1: (Writers and stories) Lesson: 1

Story Jokes

for

real communication

Mr. / Girgis

Story Jokes

Teachers want their students to genuinely communicate with each other in socially acceptable ways, and at the same time become more aware of cultural traits. What is needed in a classroom is a reaction that is real because it is spontaneous.

The value of relating a funny story lies in the commitment required of the student telling it and in the observable and sincere response that he/she elicits from the student who listens to it. At higher levels, the above activity can be followed up with story jokes.

1. Get a set of 6–12 funny stories, roughly one or two paragraphs in length. These can be found in various magazines and textbooks; and even your friends might burden you with them upon request.

It’s best to avoid ethnic, sexual, and political genres, of course. The important thing is that the stories have clear and separable punch lines.

2. Write the stories out on slips of paper, without their respective punch lines. Don’t worry if you have six jokes and twelve students. Just repeat the jokes.

3. Write all the respective punch lines out on a sheet of paper.

Funny Corny Jokes for National Tell a Joke Day | Reader's Digest

4. Distribute one unfinished story joke to each student. If two students have the same joke, so much the better. This simulates a real life situation when people have heard the same joke.

5. Distribute the sheets of punch lines to each student. They have to find the punch line to their own story and then “learn” the joke—whether that means memorizing it or putting it into their own words.

They should be careful, however, to retain at least the elements that give the joke its flavor, and perhaps even determine its effect.

6. Tell the students to go around the classroom as if they were in a pub, bar, or other social situation. They should approach another student, break the ice with “Have you heard the one about…?” and tell their joke.

The other student should just react or say (if he/she doesn’t understand) “I don’t get it.” Hopefully, the joke teller can either repeat the salient parts, the punch line or, if worst comes to worst, explain why the joke is funny.The other student should then try and tell his/her story.

School Jokes

for Kids

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?

A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an

accident?

A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?

A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?

A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?

A. A tutor!

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

N.B.

The students should tell their joke several times to different people in one class. Tell them not to hesitate to change the joke story the second time if they feel that will aid in making the joke more understandable or even funnier.

In the telling of a funny story, the commitment resides

not with the truth of information being expressed, or even one’s adherence to a view point about an issue—the usual kinds of activities in classrooms.

Usually these two varieties of commitment lead to

obviousness on the one hand or unfair culpability on the other. Telling funny stories makes a student accountable for the success of the speech act itself, i.e. the proof is in the pudding.

Other School Jokes

1. What does your computer do for lunch?

Has a byte!

2. What did the buffalo say at drop off?

Bison.

3. What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school?

No, ma'am. I didn't miss it at all.

4. Why do math books always look so sad?

They are full of problems.

5. Why did the kid eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

6. How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experi-mints!

7. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because she wanted to go to high school.

Other School Jokes

1. What does your computer do for lunch?

Has a byte!

2. What did the buffalo say at drop off?

Bison.

3. What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school?

No, ma'am. I didn't miss it at all.

4. Why do math books always look so sad?

They are full of problems.

5. Why did the kid eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

6. How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experiments!

7. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because she wanted to go to high school.

How to teach a Joke in classroom

Step One

As a warm-up activity, the teacher might ask the

students to tell an interesting joke that they might

have recently heard or retell one that they had

worked on in the previous session.

Step Two

Before beginning to read the jokes, the teacher

provides the students with the definitions of some

words that students may have difficulty understanding

and draw their attention to the meaning of the words

and useful phrases, grammatical-or phonological

points as well. It could happen both before and

after the joke.

Step Three

The teacher either reads or has one of the students

read the joke out loud (and clearly). Owing to the

fact that students’ locus of attention is on the meaning

and they are anxious to catch the punch line, this

could be a meaningful activity. It should be noticed

that while reading the joke, pronunciation, stress

pattern, and intonation should be taken into account.

Step Four

Having completed articulating the joke, and having

become certain that every- body has got the meaning,

the teacher asks the students why the joke was or

was not funny and tries to elicit students’ opinion

on the joke. She may also ask several display question

Step Five

At this point, the teacher may give the learners

(in pairs or small groups) an opportunity to each

tell the joke (with script in hand or on the board/screen).

Then the teacher may call on a volunteer to retell the

joke in a paraphrased form. Other students may help

him/her in trying to retell the story; they have the choice

to adopt the newly-learnt words in their renditions as well.

Step Six

Having gone through the above mentioned steps,

students may role play the joke in pairs. They should

pay particular attention to the intonation and rhythm

of the language; when to raise or lower their voice to

convey the meaning of the joke as effectively as possible.

Step Seven

In the last phase, the students are given a close-test

and practice the newly- learnt word, idioms and

expressions. For instance, different collocations

taught at the outset of the lesson can be worked on by giving one part

(e.g. adverb) and hav- ing students match it with other parts

(e.g. verbs), or giving the whole phrase and having

students fill in the blanks.

Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? A: The Food! Q: What kind of plates do they use on Venus? A: Flying saucers! Q: Why did nose not want to go to school? A: He was tired of getting picked on! Q: How do you get straight A's? A: By using a ruler! Q: What did the pen say to the pencil? A: So, what's your point! Q: Why did the kid study in the airplane? A: Because he wanted a higher education! Q: How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom? A: His keys were inside the piano!

Read more at: https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/school.php
This text is Copyright © Ducksters. Do not use without permission.

Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake? A: You crack me up! Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes.

Read more at: https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/school.php
This text is Copyright © Ducksters. Do not use without permission.

Here is the list of the rest of our school jokes, puns, and riddles for children and kids: Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake? A: You crack me up! Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes.

Read more at: https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/school.php
This text is Copyright © Ducksters. Do not use without permission.

School Jokes Back to Jokes Check out these special school joke categories for more education jokes for kids: Geography Jokes History Jokes Math Jokes Teacher Jokes Here is the list of the rest of our school jokes, puns, and riddles for children and kids: Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake? A: You crack me up! Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes. Report Ad Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? A: The Food! Q: What kind of plates do they use on Venus? A: Flying saucers! Q: Why did nose not want to go to school? A: He was tired of getting picked on! Q: How do you get straight A's? A: By using a ruler! Q: What did the pen say to the pencil? A: So, what's your point! Q: Why did the kid study in the airplane? A: Because he wanted a higher education! Q: How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom? A: His keys were inside the piano! Report Ad Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The elf-abet! Q: What did you learn in school today? A: Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow! Q: What holds the sun up in the sky? A: Sunbeams! Q: What object is king of the classroom? Report Ad A: The ruler! Q: When do astronauts eat? A: At launch time! Q: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? A: Stop going in circles and get to the point! Q: How does the barber cut the moon's hair? A: E-clipse it! Report Ad Q: What happened when the wheel was invented? A: It caused a revolution! Q: What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? A: Bookworms Q: What is the world's tallest building? A: The library because it has the most stories. Q: What vegetables to librarians like? Report Ad A: Quiet peas. Q: Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow? A: It always went back four seconds. Q: Why didn't the sun go to college? A: Because it already had a million degrees!

Read more at: https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/school.php
This text is Copyright © Ducksters. Do not use without permission.


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